Living at home is a breeze. You get home cooked meals, freshly ironed clothes, and your own room, all for free! Mom and dad are always there to help you out when money gets tight and you always have a space to be by yourself when you need a little \u201cme time\u201d. I think one of the biggest challenges when coming to college is learning to live with others. For many of you, this may be the first time you have had to share a room with someone. This can be a gift or a curse, depending on how you look at it. While having a roommate in college is almost inevitable you have to understand one thing: any time two people from different upbringings or lifestyles are placed into a living situation together, there is bound to be some sort of conflict or disagreement at one point or another.<\/p>\n
Personally, I spent my last year or so before moving to college feeling like an only child, although I\u2019m far from that. My siblings had all moved out and started their journeys at college, which meant I was alone at the house with my parents for the first time. You can say I was feeling a bit spoiled at the time. However, when I was younger I had to share a bedroom with my older sister. Now I know that living with family is different, but I was able to learn about sharing my space, clothes, and just about everything else at a very young age. Unfortunately, I do not believe that truly prepared me for the experience of sharing my room with a complete stranger once I arrived at college.<\/p>\n
Let me take you back in time real quick to my first year at HPU. I lived in UC-2, which as most of you know means I had one roommate, with whom I shared a bedroom, as well as two suitemates with whom I shared a bathroom. On Move In Day I knew my roommates\u2019 names and where they were from, but that was about it. Luckily we all got along well enough to be able to sit and talk about sharing space or when we preferred to shower. Just the basics.<\/p>\n
Now I don\u2019t want to mislead you in any way. My first year was not all sunshine and daisies in the housing and roommate department. But through the experiences I had I am able to sit here and write to you about how to get through this new experience of living with others. I have provided a few tips to help you.<\/p>\n
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Tip One: Establish Ground Rules<\/strong><\/p>\n Whether you know the person you are living with or not, it is always smart to establish the ground rules from the start. You may think this is silly or that you don\u2019t need rules; that is until you realize you should have had rules. Don\u2019t wait until your roommate borrows your clothes without asking to decide you don\u2019t want him or her touching your stuff. The best thing you can do when living with someone new is to sit down the first day and discuss the living situation and the rules of the room. And these rules should be mutual. All you have to say is, \u201cJust so we\u2019re on the same page, can we create some ground rules for the room?\u201d. In order for it to work out you need to be open with your roommate on what you expect from the year, for example, if you\u2019re okay with having people in your room.<\/p>\n Tip Two: Respect<\/strong><\/p>\n As you probably heard, or will hear multiple times in the community meeting, in order to live with others, you need to learn to respect them, their belongings, and their space. I can\u2019t stress enough the importance of respect in this area of discussion. I\u2019m sure this is something you all know and understand, but actually applying it is not always easy. Let\u2019s be serious\u2014we don\u2019t all get along with every person we meet, but that doesn\u2019t mean you don\u2019t have to try.<\/p>\n Although some of this goes back to tip one of establishing rules, you need to respect and be considerate of the other people you live with. If your roommate doesn\u2019t like having people over all the time, you need to respect that or ask before bringing friends into the room every day. You also can\u2019t walk around the room like you would at home. You have to be respectful of your roommate\u2019s belongings and ask before you touch their stuff or borrow their clothes. Another perk of living on a college campus is that we are our own maids. That means you have to clean your room and common area as well as the dishes by yourself. Don\u2019t wait till the room looks disgusting to clean because you were hoping your roommate would do it for you.<\/p>\n Tip Three: Talk It Out<\/strong><\/p>\n In all honesty, there will be times when you don\u2019t get along with your roommate and want to blow up or kick them out of the room. Don\u2019t do that. The best advice I can give you is to sit down and talk to them. It might be a heated discussion, but it\u2019s easier to try and talk to them about a situation than letting it continue or deciding you hate them.<\/p>\n Conflicts and disagreements are normal in any type of relationship, including roommate relationships. You cannot expect to get along with your roommate all the time. However, many people will handle conflict by pretending nothing happened and hoping that the conflict will simply be resolved overnight. I hate to break it to you but, that\u2019s not how it works\u2014that is how a small issue turns into a bigger issue. You need to keep the lines of communication open with your roommate and feel comfortable talking to them about a conflict that arises. Sit down, talk it out, and go on with your day. I promise, it\u2019s better than holding it in and creating a bigger problem.<\/p>\n Tip Four: You Don\u2019t Need to be Best Friends<\/strong><\/p>\n That\u2019s right, I said it, and I\u2019ll say it again. You do not need to be best friends with your roommate. I wasn\u2019t. Most people aren\u2019t. Many times people have high expectations on what they think their relationship with their roommate will be. They expect to be best friends with their roommate and do everything together and never have a disagreement. I don\u2019t want to be the one to burst your bubble, but I\u2019m getting my needle ready.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n I understand that coming to college is stressful because you are starting fresh and probably don\u2019t know anyone yet. Being friends with your roommate never hurts, but that doesn\u2019t mean you have to spend all your time with them. It\u2019s great to get along with your roommate, get lunch a few times a week, but do not feel obligated to have them as your only friend. For all you may know, your roommate prefers to have their own space and time to themselves or time with friends from class. And that\u2019s good because you will meet new people too.<\/p>\n Flash back two years ago when it was my first year. My roommate and I got along, we had mutual friends, but we realized we didn\u2019t have a lot in common, besides what football team we cheered for. And that was alright with us because we each had other friends to spend time with. My suitemate and I, on the other hand, might as well have been the same person. We instantly became friends because of our similar personalities and interests. But even then, we didn\u2019t spend all our time together because we still had to live with each other. Let me also include that I\u2019m the type of person that needs time to be alone every once in a while. This made it easy for me to tell them I didn\u2019t want to go out with them all the time.<\/p>\n So there you have it. My personal tips to learning to live with someone are: establishing ground rules, respecting each other, talking out your problems, and remembering that you are not obligated to be best friends. Living with someone new for the first time is not expected to be the easiest task in the world, but I hope this helps guide you at least a little.<\/p>\n -Dana<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Living at home is a breeze. You get home cooked meals, freshly ironed clothes, and your own room, all for free! 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