Same Abuse, Different Challenges: Dating Abuse in the LGBTQIA+ Community

Sexual and dating abuse affects all people and relationships. It doesn’t discriminate! Dating abuse is just as serious in LGBTQIA+ relationships as it is in heterosexual relationships. Less than 25% of those who experience dating violence in the LGBTQ+ community ever report the abuse. The National Coalition of Anti-Violence Projects (NCAVP) estimates that nearly one in ten LGBTQ survivors of intimate partner violence (IPV) has experienced sexual assault from those partners.

Individuals experiencing dating abuse in LGBTQ+ relationships may:

  • Feel embarrassed about the abuse going on.
  • Feel like their partner will try to turn the community against them if they do something their partner disagrees with or if they decide to end the relationship.
  • Be worried their partner will “out” them to family and friends if they’re not out already or their partner may threaten to “out” them as a way to gain power and control over them.
  • Be in their first LGBTQ+ relationship and their partner may be isolating them from the rest of the queer community as a form of power and control.
  • Be made to feel ashamed about their sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression by their partner.
  • Feel like their partner is the only person that will ever love them because of their sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression.
  • Be worried that they won’t be able to get help because of their sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression if they reach out.

Everyone deserves a healthy relationship where they are treated with respect and valued for who they are.

However unique the challenge, if you or someone you know is experiencing dating violence in a LGBTQAI+ relationship, remember, you are not alone! You have the right to reach out when you are in need of help.

Here are some LGBTQ-friendly resources:

HPU staff and faculty, including Kayla Rudisel, Title IX Coordinator
317 Slane Center
High Point University
One University Parkway
High Point, NC 27268
336-841-9138
TitleIX@highpoint.edu

Let’s Talk About It: A Transgender Survivor’s Guide to Accessing Therapy

National Sexual Assault Hotline – can also refer you to a local rape crisis center
1-800-656-HOPE (4673) 24/7 or
Online Counseling at https://ohl.rainn.org/online/

Love is Respect Hotline
1-866-331-99474 (24/7) or Text “loveis” 22522

The Anti-Violence Project– serves people who are LGBTQ
Hotline 212-714-1124 Bilingual 24/7

LGBT National Help Center
National Hotline (1-888-843-4564) or National Youth Talkline (1-800-246-7743)
Online Peer Support Chat (https://www.glbthotline.org/peer-chat.html) or Weekly Youth Chatrooms (https://www.glbthotline.org/youthchatrooms.html)

National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-7233
Text LOVEIS to 22522

FORGE– serves transgender and gender non-conforming survivors of domestic and sexual violence; provides referrals to local counselors

The Network La Red– serves LGBTQ, poly, and kink/BDSM survivors of abuse; bilingual
Hotline – 617-742-4911

Northwest Network– serves LGBT survivors of abuse; can provide local referrals
Hotline– 206-568-7777

Sources:

Love is Respect

National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs

Human Rights Campaign