Marilyn Sherman | Access to Innovators Podcast | Watch HPU

Chapters & Transcript

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Welcome to the Access to Innovators podcast powered by the premier life skills university, High Point University.

Hello, my name is Olga D. I'm a junior here at High Point University studying actuarial science. Today I'm going one-on-one with Marilyn Sherman, our personal development expert in residence. Thank you for being here, Marilyn.

Oh, it's my pleasure. I'm excited.

That's great. So, I'd like to begin by giving everybody the opportunity to get to know you a little bit better. You have 25 years of experience. You have authored four books, a lot of accomplishments, and a lot of accolades. Could you tell us who Marilyn Sherman is?

Wow. Well, who I am, I hope to be is a beacon of hope for people. I mean, what I do for a living is I deliver presentations at conferences and conventions all over the country and sometimes out of the country. And my whole intention is to deliver hope and encouragement so people have the confidence to live a life in the front row as I like to say.

1:04

And you mentioned the word front row. Could you elaborate on that concept a little bit more?

Oh, sure. It's a concept that I've believed in for a very long time is that you and I, we live in a venue and we have choices as to where we sit in this venue. We're either stuck in the balcony, which is total disengagement because you're so far away from what's going on down in front, and you can leave that balcony seat and come back and no one would ever notice that you'd even left.

Or you can be in general admission, and general admission is where most people sit. And this is a slippery slope because your general admission seat is kind of like your comfort zone, like this is the way I've always been. This is the way I'll always be. This is just who I am. And if you have that kind of a mindset, then eventually your competition is going to pass you by. And so your general admission seat actually turns into a balcony seat.

And then there's the front row. And the front row is where you get to say, "It doesn't get any better than this. I love what I do. I love who I am. I love what I'm doing and who I'm doing it for. I love life." And I have a positive mindset. I have a growth mindset. Um that to me is front row living. That's front row success. That's front row leadership. It's all about living your life in the front row.

2:15

So, having worked with people from all walks of life, what role do you say mindset plays in personal and professional goals and how can we shift towards a more positive or growth mindset?

Well, growth mindset means absolutely everything because I believe in a self-fulfilling prophecy. So, if you believe that you're going to succeed, you will. If you believe you're going to learn something, you will. If you believe that you're going to be better tomorrow than you were today, then you will be.

Um, I think growth mindset is everything. A limited mindset or a negative mindset doesn't serve you. And I know a lot of people are afraid to have positive expectations because they don't want to be disappointed. Well, I'd much rather have a positive mindset and have something not quite go my way than expect negativity and have things be reinforced as negative.

So, I think a positive growth mindset really is the foundation of any success.

3:13

That's really impressive. So, I know that you've been at High Point's campus multiple times and last year I remember you sat on a panel discussion and it talked about how to stand out and differentiate yourself. Could you um tell us why it is so important to differentiate yourself and um what steps can students take towards achieving that?

Well, I think um we have so much competition out there that you run the risk of swimming in the sea of sameness and you really want to stand out and be distinctive among your competitors. And the best way to do that is to celebrate what's unique about you and focus on your personal branding.

So the advice I would have for students is to do some reflection. What makes you unique? What makes you different? What stands out about you and your personality and your experiences that's different than your colleagues and your competitors and then focus on that and then everything you do would be to accentuate that differentiation so that you end up with a personal brand that people recognize.

That's really amazing. So what would you say is your personal brand? Well, I'm known as front row girl, um, front row Maryland because I've been preaching living your life in the front row for the last 20, 25 years or so. So, I firmly believe in living your life in the front row and not settling. You know, I think some people they settle too much for status quo or they settle for well, this is just who I am when it doesn't have to be who you are. There's a better version of you if you just focus on what the possibilities are out there and go for it. You will absolutely surprise yourself.

4:55

You know, I talk a lot about visioning and goal setting. I think too many people follow the smart goal acronym which is specific, measurable, attainable, um realistic and time-sensitive. And I believe that smart goals are stupid because you limit yourself if you only set goals that you think are attainable. Well, who are you to think what's truly attainable? I think we need to take off our blinders and think of possibilities about instead of having smart goals, why not be bold and have bold goals and be outrageous with our goals and don't think about what's realistic. I mean, let's talk about what's possible out there.

And I think that energizes people and gives people, you know, a reason to get up and go.

6:05

Yeah. Funny enough, I remember freshman year during president's seminar after you came, we had a um task to write about what smart goals we had for the rest of the year. And my paper kind of aligned with what you said. I didn't believe in smart goals because um they weren't just I felt like I was limiting myself in that sense. So, it's kind of funny that she said that, but when we are creating goals, um, where do we draw the line between being realistic and being over ambitious?

What is this phrase over ambitious mean? I don't know what this concept is. I mean, I can't help but I study positive people. I study successful people. And nowhere in a biography or an autobiography of a successful person have they said something like, "I need I needed to be more reasonable with my goals. I needed to be more realistic with my goals." I mean, look at your freshman student, Madison Crowell. I mean, she is a perfect example of how to be bold in your thinking because her parents didn't want her to have any student debt, so they started taking her on college tours when she was in the seventh grade. And when she graduated from high school just last year, she had 231 letters of um acceptance to colleges and universities all over this land. And she told me today those scholarship offers totaled $15 million.

Wow. So when people say, "Well, where do you draw the line between being realistic and being attainable?" I say, "Well, why even focus on what's attainable and what's realistic? Why not just go for it? Just absolutely be bold and be outrageous with your goal setting because even if you're really outrageous, but you come a little bit short, I still think a little bit short from outrageous is much better than setting a goal that's just attainable or realistic."

8:38

I like that. I like that a lot. So, where do you say this boldness comes from? Because a lot of the way you speak and interact with students and people in the professional setting, you can see that Marilyn, she just captures a sense of boldness. So, where do you think it all came from?

Well, that's a very interesting question. Um, I'm the youngest of um nine in my family. My mom and dad had eight kids in nine years. So, I'm the baby of the family. And, um, so growing up, I had to be bold. I had to speak up. I had if I needed to eat or be listened to, I had to speak up. So, I really think it comes from a my background, my family growing up. And then as an entrepreneur, because I've owned my own business um for 30 years, I have to speak up and I have to be bold to get to the next gig, to get to the next sales presentation, to get to the next conference and convention where they choose me. So, I think as part of my hunger to succeed, I have to be bold. So, um I guess that comes out in my personality.

I would definitely say so. So, I'm going to jump around a little bit. So, personal development, it usually focuses on the individual itself and sometimes we overlook the importance of the people that we surround ourselves with. In your experience, who are some key people that we should have in our corner?

Oh, we should definitely um have key people in our corner that are going to support us in our dreams and aspirations. We need people in our corner who won't question our intention but just um be a good sounding board for us. I have a couple of masterminds I'm a member of and these are people who are like-minded. We're all in the same industry and we come together and support each other and we don't question each other. We just challenge each other like is this the right direction to go? What's your thinking behind it? Or is that the right direction to go? What's your intention behind that? So, we need people in our corner who will support us but challenge us at the same time without judgment. It's really important to surround yourself with an inner circle of friends and people who you trust and who are without judgment. I think that's a really important trait to have. And I used to think that I wanted tons and tons of friends and now that I'm older and more wise, um, I don't need so many friends. I just need a core group of friends that I can count on and that support me and I support them.

9:57

So I would like to ask you what's your ultimate front row seat?

Well, you know, I talk about living life in the front row and front row leadership and whenever you walk into a conference or walk into a room, you make your way to the front row. But ultimately, the ultimate front row seat is to be an usher. And what I mean by that is that when you're living your best life, when you're exceeding your goals and expectations, when you are fulfilling all the items on your bucket list, you can't help but walk different. You show up different. You illuminate a light within you that you can't suppress. It just comes out. It's like a It's like this internal magnetism that people are drawn to.

So, when you're living your best life, you are like an usher illuminating the path for others to see the possibility, to see the possible, to see what's out there, and they are then motivated to live their life in the front row. I like to think of I live in Las Vegas, so I like to think of it as an usher in Las Vegas. If you ever go to a show in Las Vegas, there will be an usher, I guarantee you, with two things. Number one, they have knowledge. They know where all the seats are in the venue. And number two, they have a flashlight. And they turn on that light so they could see your ticket. And then they illuminate the path through the darkness with that flashlight.

Well, that's what I think we as humans are put on this earth to do is to help others, to help our fellow man, fellow woman to achieve greatness. And so it starts with you. When you're living your life in the front row, you can't help but illuminate the path for others to see what's possible. That to me is the ultimate front row seat.

11:30

And I know you've written other books apart from Front Row, but which book would you say is your favorite and why?

Oh, well um all my books are my favorites, but the latest book that I wrote is called Is There a Hole in Your Bucket List? And it's all about um overcoming obstacles that prevent us from achieving our goals because we have a bucket and it's filled with our hopes and dreams and aspirations. But oftentimes those buckets are they're punctured with holes by nails. And those nails are called fear and doubt and insecurity and negativity and shame and past obstacles and past experiences.

Those nails puncture our buckets or our hopes and dreams and aspirations fall through the holes. Well, guess what? You and I are the ones that hold the hammer for those nails. We are responsible for those nails. We're responsible for the holes in our own bucket list. So, if that's the case, we we um patch up those holes with courage and compassion and kindness. It takes courage to look at where we are versus where we want to be. It takes courage to look at, you know, general admission. Maybe I'm sort of coasting a little bit. I need to step it up and get to the front row in this particular area of my life. So, it takes courage to look at where you're sitting now versus where you want to sit.

And then it takes compassion. Give yourself a break. You've been through a lot. Give yourself some grace. And the nice thing about giving yourself some grace is that when you give yourself some grace, you are more likely to give other people some grace. And I think in this day and age, it's okay to have a little bit more grace, right?

13:39

And then kindness. Kindness is an act. Um when you see someone who's not okay, it's okay to go up to them and say, "Hey, what's going on? I I sense that you're a little bit off your game today. Do you want to talk about it?" So doing some sort of act of kindness. And when you do that, it takes away your fear. It takes away insecurity and it takes away any kind of negativity and and patches the holes in your bucket list so that you can have your dreams and hopes and aspirations come true.

No, that's really amazing to hear. Um so with that book um you talk you say that um we have holes in our buckets. What do we do about the holes that we don't want to fix? Are there ever times that there are some holes that some people don't want to fix? And how do we go about that?

Can you give me an example? Um, like what would you not want to fix? So maybe not in the sense of not wanting to fix, but they're in the fear of trying to fix it. So maybe someone they know that in the future they want to be um a motivational speaker like you, but they're just a little bit afraid to take that first step forward, but would rather be in their comfort zone.

Oh, got it. It's really easy to stay in your comfort zone. That's why they call it a comfort zone. And I think it was Dr. Nido Qubein who said that your comfort zone leads to habits. Your habits lead to a rut. Your rut leads to mediocrity. And mediocrity leads to failure because you and I can't afford to live anywhere near mediocrity. And that's what your comfort zone ends up being. So we have to be very careful of that. But that's why it's your comfort zone. It's because it's very comfortable like a warm blanket on a cold morning. So we have to be careful that we don't get too comfortable that we don't step out into the coldness of the day and achieve more results.

Um sometime sometimes people have fear and I don't want you to think that uh you have to be completely fearless but just acknowledge the fear and go for it anyway. Fear is going to happen. Fear is the most common answer I have to ask the question um what prevents people from having all their dreams come true and it's fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of success. And I love the story about Sarah Blakeley, the founder of Spanx, a billion-dollar industry for undergarments for men and women. And I love her story because when she started Spanx, she got no after no after no after no. She faced closed doors more than anyone I know. And she um talks about how she was fearless in going through the process of building her business because in her family her mom and dad would insist that her and her brother come to dinner and share some sort of failure that they experienced that day. So these kids were out there trying things in order to fail so they could talk about it over dinner. And what's so great about it is a as they're going out here trying new things just to try to fail and fail and fail, every once in a while they would do what? Succeed. They would succeed. And so she grew up in a household that embraced failure.

Can you imagine if we changed our culture and had a cultural shift around fear and that we embraced failure and embraced it as a stepping stone to success? So you don't have to have fear. You don't have to eliminate fear, just face it and go for it anyway.

16:38

I like that where you talk about embracing your fear. So when when was one time in your career where fear was right in your face and how did you overcome that fear?

Well, every time I face an audience there's fear. I mean facing 1750 freshmen this morning that you know that's that's a fear. But I just remind myself that what I have to say is of value before every presentation I give. I remind myself even though there's fear, I remind myself that what I have to say is of value and they're going to get something out of it. And I just picture those faces of those kids that line up after I'm done speaking to say, "Thank you for the speech. Thank you for what I said. Something I said really resonated with them." I just remind myself of that. So, it helps uh alleviate that fear for the moment.

17:25

Yeah. And I know especially with you coming to High Point after you're done speaking, there is a big crowd of people wanting to say thank you because of your authenticity. And how do you ensure that you're being your most authentic self?

Well, I'm a firm believer that authenticity trumps perfection every time. And I've even noticed that in my work. If I make a mistake on stage and then I recover from it, I think the audience is endearing to me more because they see I'm human and they connect with me more on a human level just because I'm they know I'm not perfect. So I embrace imperfection and and that helps be my authentic self. So I'm not afraid to be imperfect. I'm not afraid to show who I who I am because this is this is who I am and I don't have to put on airs. I don't have to be someone I'm not because that's exhausting. Can you imagine trying to be somebody else? So, I just I just know that authenticity trumps perfection. So, I'm I'm perfectly imperfect just the way I am.

18:33

Love that. Perfectly imperfect. Well, to wrap it all up, is there any last piece of advice or um last words that you would like to say? Just that life is way too short to be stuck in the balcony of your life. Wherever you're sitting right now, you don't have to remain there. Wherever you're sitting right now doesn't have to be a permanent seat. You get to choose where you sit with your with your health seat, with your relationship seat, with your spiritual seat, with your faith seat, with your work seat, with your school seat. You get to choose where you sit.

And I hope every single time you walk into a room that you think of me and and choose to sit in the front row, however you define it for yourself. Because it could be literally when you literally walk into a room, but it could be figuratively speaking that you are a good person with good intent and living your life authentically is living a life in the front row.

Well, Marilyn Sherman, I've had an amazing time with you here today. Thank you so much for being here. It was my pleasure, Olga. It was very nice to see you again. Thank you for joining our Access to Innovators podcast. Thank you, Marilyn. You're welcome. It was great to be here. Great having you.

Marilyn Sherman, a personal development expert with 25 years of experience and author of four books, discusses the "Front Row" philosophy of life and success in this podcast interview with High Point University student Olga D. Sherman emphasizes the importance of mindset, bold goal-setting, surrounding yourself with supportive people, and embracing fear as a stepping stone to achievement. She shares insights from her latest book "Is There a Hole in Your Bucket List?" and encourages listeners to step out of their comfort zones, be authentic over perfect, and live their lives with purpose and intention in the front row.

Marilyn Sherman | Access to Innovators Podcast

Marilyn Sherman | Access to Innovators Podcast

How do you develop life skills at High Point University?

What is a Front Row mindset?

How do you develop a growth mindset?

How do you differentiate yourself from the competition?

Why are SMART goals considered limiting?

How do you set bold and ambitious goals?

Who should you surround yourself with for success?

What is the ultimate Front Row seat in life?

How do you overcome fear and insecurity?

How do you step out of your comfort zone?

How do you overcome the fear of public speaking?

Why is authenticity more important than perfection?

Why should you choose to live life in the Front Row?